As Edith Piaf sang, I do not regret anything. Well, what a load of old bullshit that is! Another lie I’ve been telling myself most of my adult life!

Of course, for you, it’ll depend on your definition of the word ‘regret’. In the sense of wishing to have made a different decision, this is pointless; we can’t change the past after all. But, we can find gratitude and learning from the impact of the paths we took, especially those we ‘regret’.

Like guilt and sadness, and all the other negatively-perceived emotions we tell ourselves to get over, move on from, we can learn from and be grateful for it all. But we’ve got to feel it first. We’ve got to get curious about the choices we made and the consequences of them. Grieve the loss of whatever did or didn’t happen from taking the paths we took, and those we didn’t. Feel, acknowledge, accept. Only then can we move on fully, without regret.

There are plenty of things in my life that I used to wish I’d made a different decision about. In making the choices I did, paths opened up that impacted my life; some of it was painful, some of it exhilarating. Some, I look back at with sadness and guilt, some with happiness and joy. Mostly, I can reflect on all of it with my growing wisdom and balance. When I can contemplate it from a place of compassion, I am grateful for all the experiences, the learning they have brought me, and the path that has led me here.

And here is all we really ever have. Let’s be with it.

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