I’ve been musing a lot on my relationship with tidiness and “order” recently. It’s part of my ongoing unravelling; having believed that tidiness and order is the “right” thing; one of those things that society tells us is how all model citizens live – with tidy and ordered lives, homes and gardens. But deep down knowing that none of it really matters and that life is one big glorious, beautiful “mess”.
And so I’ve been noticing, whilst sitting in my garden over the last few weeks, how I’ve been internally responding to the different parts of it. How I’ve enjoyed being in, and looking at, the “tidy” parts, and ignoring those that aren’t, or telling myself they need “fixing”.
It’s a bit like that with our own true nature as well, I think. Hiding or adapting the parts of us that we’ve been told don’t conform to society’s expectations of how we “should” be. Doing things to fit in and belong. Not saying things for fear of rejection or criticism. And before we know it, we’ve lost the essence of who we truly are.
Connecting with nature, sitting in my garden and living my very untidy life, I’m learning to reconnect to my true essence. I’m learning to sit in the mess and gorge on the profound beauty in all of it.
Side note – I use quotation marks around words I believe have a cultural judgement around, but that I don’t necessarily agree with, and I’m challenging, that judgement.
Question for your musing and pondering
- What is nature and life showing you right now?